Rum without the Cha Cha
I got myself accidentally drunk once at 6 pm on a Tuesday, at my house, alone.
A friend brought me back a really good bottle of Rum from his trip to Jamaica. One random Tuesday at 6 pm I decided I wanted to try it. But the thing was I had almost zero experience making myself a cocktail so I wasn’t exactly sure what to do.
“Okay, let’s see here, what the hell goes well with Rum?” A quick assessment of the contents in my kitchen left me without many options. Then I remembered that my friend said this particular Rum was so good you could just drink it on its own.
I proceeded to pour the Rum into a glass of ice not knowing how much I was supposed to put in it. Okay, Okay, I should have just Googled it but, in my defense, it was before I had a smartphone, and opening my laptop to look it up seemed like an unnecessary inconvenience. Plus, I figured I was cool and hip enough to figure it out on my own. (This thought has not been a reliable thought to guide me in my decision-making endeavors. Yet, it mysteriously continues to exert its skinny-jean-mustache-wearing influence on me to this very day)
I poured half a glass of the Rum into some ice and took a sip. Oooooo damn!
The next move was made from the part of my brain that bypasses common sense and instead opts for immediate gratification of the senses. Btw, this part of my brain seems to have gotten A LOT of action all these years. I mean, it’s basically like a cute guy that talks to me in a foreign accent and says he’s an Architect with a motorcycle.
Anyway, upon deciding to fill up an entire glass full of the stuff, I took it – and the bottle – to my living room sofa to drink while I watched something on TV. Now, this glass was used to housing the contents of lukewarm Grapefruit LaCroix water so I should have taken the now profusely sweating glass as a sign it was about to have a nervous breakdown by containing that much alcohol.
BUT, it was soooo hot out that day; and I didn’t have AC. That glass of Rum tasted so completely refreshing that within minutes I was pouring another tall glass. They went down with the ease of a Las Vegas hooker. Oops was that too crass? Eh, too late.
20 min later I was drunk-dialing any and all of my friends. Just me…laughing into the phone – about nothing. On a Tuesday. At 6 pm. In broad daylight. In my house. By myself. Accidentally.
Yours Truly,
The Intoxicated Earth-Tourist
